Termenung atas katil dok memikir about my other half. Apa yang duk berlegar kat dalam kepala hotak aku sekarang is about; yang pertamanya trust, yang keduanya kejujuran dan ketelusan. Funny that this is the issue yang aku fikirkan, knowing me, pernah ke aku peduli? Perhaps not, and to make it even worst, one of my friend pernah cakap, ‘when you start wondering or thinking about it, that doesn’t mean you care, as you DON’T!, but when you start thinking about it, that mean you are either simply finding faults or you’re trying to figure out way on how to GET EVEN!’
Lost?! So do I! It started days ago, when we pour our hearts out on that very dining table. About how we expect to be treated, about how we felt betrayed, wounded and humiliated. Relationship is very complicated and I hate it now, more than ever. But too bad, am already in too deep.
That night, MA already promised that all the flirting will lessen, gradually – and for the first time, I believed it. Bayangkan, Ross believed it! Crap!! This morning, I glanced through MA’s phone only to find out that there’s a new sizzling hot messages that at the time I read it, I don’t feel disappointed – except for the part that I believed it the other night! I laughed at myself for being a little stupid but more better, I laugh that this mean I will have the opportunity to do the very same.
You guys should see how it happened. My wooden bed always making a cracking sound whenever we move – this morning MA got into the shower and I was in bed. I got up to reach for the newspaper that I bought few days ago but haven’t got the chance to read it, and so the bed was making that rocking sound again when I move. When I was at the edge of the bed, I saw MA’s phone on the shelf below the looking glass. I only looked at it once since it was bought a few days ago. Curious, I held it – thinking that perhaps I’d have a look at the features, and when I slide it up… there was an envelope icon so inviting that I could not help myself from pressing the button to get into that folder (now I question myself that I’m not being trustworthy for checking the phone without MA’s permission) . There’s this message which I found so intriguing and in some other ways quite annoying to me, and at the same time, I saw the shower’s door is being opened slowly as to not wanting me to hear, and I realized that MA’s checking what I was doing.
I had to put down the phone without having the delights of checking some other messages that look as suspicious. And I heard MA was turning off the shower tap. That was quick, and yes, thanks to that cracking bed.. Duhhhhhh!!! Otherwise, I could have checked lots. And I was wondering what makes MA so nervous about the phone? Does he has something inside it that he doesn’t want me to know? Or he was worried that the flirting will make me mad? Or what? I don’t know.. I was ok since that night we talked but now, there’s a new lump in this chest that disturbed me. I hardly breathe… guys, help me, what shall I do?
Owh, and my caller ring tone sounds like this…
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that's all right because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that's all right because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
Oohh, I love the way you lie, oohh
Tak relevant langsung but who cares kan?
2 comments:
Sedi bila pulak ko ada hanggek baru ni? tak introduce pun? susah susah ko pasang la banyak banyak, biar pening kepala sekali harung nak layan. SEingat aku ko last ngan kawan si Gaby Solis tu kan? Tak jadi apa ke? Nelayan laut dalam tu pun tak jadi apa ke? haha, memang la ko ni kaki pakai buang. kesinambungannya jahat. aku harap yang ni ko tak pakai lepas tu buang jer. Sian la anak orang sedi, ko tu hati batu. kalau ko tak suka ckp saja terus, jangan ko nak cari pasal. Beberapa minggu sudah aku jumpa si din, simpati pulak aku tengok dia, tapi siapa suruh minat kat ko kan? memang nasib jadi balu ler. Dah dah la sedi, sian kat orang - anonymous.(wandi) :-)
weihhh... ko jangan nak menggedik!! Haha.. siapa ni ek? Wandi? sorry, I don't kenal... mana ada kawan aku nama wandi, paling dekat pun wadi, yg penah date ngan aku masa tengok teater hanuman.. itupun taun 2000. so don't play play hoccay? And setau aku member bnk aku jer yang panggil aku sedi. Weihh mana ada siksa daaa... dia yang siksa aku adala...sekarang dah pandai sembunyi phone, takut aku check! Lak tu tak leh berenggang langsung ngan phone dia. kalau dulu dulu, dia rimas kalau rokok n phone duk dalam poket, mesti dia keluarkan taruk atas coffee table, rokok and phones (dia ada dua phone hoccay?), tapi now, dia keluarkan rokok jer... handphones (and I repeat, handphoneS) tetap kekal di dalam poket! Motiff?? so ko tak leh nak salahkan aku ler kalau aku buat hal kan?
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